Saturday, January 28, 2006

Happy Lunar NEw YEar !!!
So fast its gonna be chinese new year again...how fast time flies...so fast till there wasnt time to blog =X hehe...so lets rewind back to the time..erm..whatever i can remember...

Nov 2005 - Jan 2006
hmmm...finally i got into an A*star programme = ) After 2 attempts, finally the effort paid off...the 1st 2 attempts were for IMCB attachment programme and dentistry attachment. Sadly both i only managed to scrap through the 1st 2 interviews...hmmm...but do you think i would have made it for the dentistry one if i didnt tell the teachers that i had an overseas cip expedition? hmm...i might have gotten in..but can i get past my conscience? nah...dont think so.So i guessed what i did was correct...at least morally right? hehe..
Oh wells...back to the year 2006. Hmmm...when ms wang told us about this IMCB programme..i felt a mixture of feelings..a sense of anticipation, happiness, excitement but also surge of disappointment. Disappointment as i was rejected twice..can i take a 3rd rejection? haha..." this is the 1st time i will be rejected thrice by the same person" thats what i said..well, dont blame me in trying to find something good out of something disastrous...was hoping that JAC can make it in...jas daddy, me and cher godmama..all 3 of us = )
But...as usual fate is always making a fool out of me...that didnt happen...hai...not that going with Alex, yi cheng and kwee haan was bad..but probably the joy of going with cher and jas was something i was hoping for...Things turned out quite well..full of fun and surprises!
25-27 JAn 2006: Biopolis Proteos IMCB
Alex, Yi cheng, Kwee Haan and me gotten into IMCB attachment programme! yeah ! 05S201 dominates the prog..muahaha..hehe..oops..anyway..look above ar...it said attachment programme..erm..attachment for 3 days? weird uh..we were told that we were supposed to assist a researcher in his studies..that was told to everyone..erm..i asked the other peeps who were there..
In the end...it was...a research outreach programme! It aint that bad, very enriching, fun etc..
Come to think of it, you know why the teachers of all the schools were told those stuff? cause as compared to other ROP provided by IMCB..this was probably one of the least attractive one..as said by the researcher there..hehe..so who can blame them..no one..cause we enjoyed..made many friends, had great time together = )
This is all of us..Consisting of Dunman High, Dunman Sec, Ngee Ann Sec (My Sec sch*grins*), Nanyang Girls, Raffles Girls, Spore Chinese Girls, Hwa Chong Insti. JC, MJC and JJC..erm...its according to level and alpha..hehe..
Day 1: Hi peeps...silence...murmurs among each groups..everyone almost kept to their own groups..Thanks to Genie..he is our chief mentor (he is a HE ...not a SHE kays). He separated us into pairs..Alex with ke qin..Yi cheng with joshua, kwee haan with jezer (my junior!) me with audrey..hehe..basically there was minimal interaction between the schools..minimal meaning there was still friendly nods and chats .
Day 2: we were more active and interactive as we began to open up to everyone..partially thanks to many group works..the details ..erm..lets just keep them in my memories..hehe..at the end of the day, we were bargainin with genie and the other mentors to let us off early tomorrow..In the end, we settled for a 9:30 assembly the next day..*crossed fingers and prayed we can end early tmr*
Day 3: The last day. Bench 1-3 sorta form a group..while bench 4-6 another as there were many times we had excursions around the building in such arrangements..So fun!! those moments.. there were blowing of air into gloves...drawings on the balloons and ball games..haha..the glove-balloons-chicken little hit yc head a few times! haha..but he left to the workstations after awhile..party pooper! hehe..still..we bonded..things sorta quieten down after lunch..quieten down as in there was lesser physical and more vocal..hehe..we had singing sessions = ) we as in peeps from benches 4 to 6..when genie and the rest were out. Singing session was led by Chris-Tin..boy was her singing great! serious..she is good..thanks babe! for the music..the attempts in tryin to keep we 2 warm in the cold room (4 degree celsius) and just being you !
we were sorta running around in the lab, asking for emails and numbers..genie..he was just watching..as we didnt have much to do as our samples were getting themselves antibodified and dyed! hehe..phototaking was fun..with a serious photographer..stern he was for us to quieten down and settle down to take the pics..there was the dissection of mice..*heart shattering* *sighs* why must we subject animals to such treatments..for the sake of human survival..sounds familiar bio peeps? survival of the fittest, part of darwin's theory.sad..but it still fascinates me.
I truely miss you guys...the balloons games, singin sessions, mass lunching at Subways, jokes shared and enjoyed by everyone..it was just great! May fate bring us together again, like it did this time = ) now that we have one another emails..its all the more easier? hehe
Talking about Fate.
After 3 attempts, i finally gotten into an A*star prog. It was an attempt to prove that life goes on even with you out of it. An attempt i stressed..for as usual, it almost fail again.There were many moments when the past tried to come back to haunt me..many attempts made by the past..
Thinking it was a JC prog..i didnt expect any secondary school to be there.Ok..even if there was, not NAS. i guess thanks to Mr Chua Chor Huat and Mdm Ashikin, NAS kids are provide the opportunities to go for such prog.
Seeing the 2 juniors brought back many memoriesm. Just the sight of the uniform and their behaviors..haha..In them, i saw some resemblence of myself..almost a reflection..Kwee haan said jezer is talkative..Alex said i yakked too much! haha..he and kh had to dare me to keep quiet for 5mins *embarrassed look*
Seeing my past self wasnt that bad..it was the constant reminder of you. Before knowing you, i hardly heard of people with your name..what more your surname.
But after you left, people with your name kept entering my life..so yeap, i met someone of the same name as you. Ha! why should a name affect me that much! it shouldnt..really it shouldnt! but it still did.when i want to msg him, i would chance upon your name and number and i would want to msg you..just to check hows life. When i chat with him online, i see your name in his nick.
Please stay quietly in my memories.
For you are already in my heart and mind (constantly).
Because besides you, someone else has made his way into my heart too.
For you shall be the memories of my past, present and future .
And him, my present.
Sometimes i wish i can meet you.
To prove to myself...
that i have moved on.
that i have left you in the past.
that it was mere coincidence and not fate.
that i have grown and become stronger, through my own efforts.
Sometimes i wish you would tell me everything is all but a nightmare.
A short nightmare to groom me to be a better person
And that you would wake me up when its time,
telling me everything is back to normal and assure me once again.
Contradictions?
yeap...thats me, my life.
Full of contradictions.
Full of mixed emotions.
Confusing?
yeap, i am truely so.
Need someone to catch me when i fall?
yeap, that would be greatly appreciated.
Is it possible?
i dont know..do you?
If you do know, would you?
Please whisper in my ears, for i would not know whats going through your heart and mind.
Tell me if its true.
Dont keep me in the dark. Please dont.
For im tired.
Tired of guessing.
Tired of taking chances.
Tired of trying to interpret your words and actions.
Guessing games. Inference games. Waiting games.
fun at the beginning, draining as it carry on.
Will you end them?
Dear Lord above,
i seek your guidance and strength to overcome obstacles.
With you by my side,
anything and everything is possible.
For your love shall bring us through difficult times and bring warmth to our heart when it begins to freeze.


she told the story ... 7:14 PM


Sunday, January 22, 2006

Dreamland...
Thats where i am these days...where i found peace and happiness.
Its the place where i found comfort and love.
Where i found what i was looking for.
I miss...
the warmth of being in the arms...
the strong sense of security...
the love and knowing there would always be someone who will be there for me.
To wipe my tears.

To hold me tight when everything went awfully wrong.
To whisper in my ears that everything would be alright.
To simply be there.
But can i remain there? In the warmth and comfort i found ? Can i stay there ?
NO...
i cant...for dreamland is nothing but a place of memories..in my heart.
In my heart, it shall stay...forever it shall...
him and the memories we had...shall remain in my heart.


But , can i let it remain there silently? Or would it resurface time and time again...
The past... The memories haunting me...
Bringing me back into Dreamland...the place of memories
Yes... it bought happiness, peace, comfort and warmth...
However, once back in reality...it left a mess in my heart...
The feeling of longing...The feeling that something was once again missing...

I found what was missing. It has always been my heart.
I left it with you for safekeeping, or simply because i know thats where it belongs..
But now you are gone, unknowingly taking part of me along with you.
I can and will live on...with or without it.

The present is where i am and where i shall stay.
Here and there is what i am feeling...Here in the present. There in the past.
Lost.Confused.Searching for the light at the end of the darkest tunnel.

Will you be there, like you were in the past, to catch me when i fall?
Will you be there to hold my hand and guide me when i lose my way?
Will you be there to always hold me tightly in your arms?
Will you be there to simply be you, the one i gave my heart to?
Will you...

Memories...please stay in my heart quietly. For thats where you belong. In my heart.


she told the story ... 9:37 PM


Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Lately...
Been thinking about you, sitting around, watching the days go by.
Lately...
Have you ever felt a breeze hit your heart like the wind was blowing it apart?
But i guess it was a heartbreak from the norm.
It was a day i will always remember,
the saddest day in sweet november.
Lately...
i've been watching you, been thinking about you and everything you do.
Lately...
i've been torn apart.
i wish you han't broke my heart.


she told the story ... 9:30 PM


Friday, January 13, 2006

Friday The 13th
How often do you have friday the 13th? It was said to be unlucky and come to think of it, it should be kinda rare uh. As how often do the 13th day of the month fall on a friday? haha..But there seems to be so many friday the 13th within a year ! serious.Unlucky day some might say.But to me, its just another day of the year.
13 january, a date i keep remembering. why? cause...its my Kor kor birthday !!
Happy Birthday Kor kor!!
hehe..he loves green..so ya..love ya bro = ) love ya always ..hehe..
On a more serious note...School has finally begin and progress..its been so hectic and tiring.funny thing is its starting to be more fun, more interesting, more energizing and more enjoyable.
Its been a Conk-out-at-1am-wake-up-at-5am weeks...amazing i didnt doze off in any lectures or tutorials, unlike last year ! hehe = ) except for today, almost dozed off during physics..But after cher's wake up call..i stayed awake throughout . hehe.
Its been raining nonstop these days.freezing cold, esp during lectures.even in the open, i was freezing = X thought i was sick..hmmm.i think i was. as i came down with a sudden high fever on saturday..darn it..waste a weekend of mine..but it was kinda nice, snuggling in bed, except for the sudden chill and burning up and aches..recovered 2days later, just in time for school = ) so please with my body, glad it didnt subject me to any mc.
The rain continued till today, sorta dampen the mood, but its still nice to have a cooling atmosphere.But still im thankful for the pressence of the sun today ! miss it soooo much!! esp during showers..
The Warmth
The Light
The Comfort
The surroundings can actually affect ones mood..aint that interesting?It leaves wet spots in your heart, without you noticing it. And by the time you do, its only because you feel it, slowing down your heartbeat and sometimes your thinking too ! haha! this applies to some people..people who are like me ? haha. oh wells, there have been like constant mood flunctuations ..hmmm..a moment there is a surge of energy flowing through me, the next instant, the emptiness fills every part of me.
Each time such changes happen, im left stunned, stoning, staring into space.i gotta snap out of it soon! i cant be stoning during lesson ! No sireee!! I gotta concentrate!! Concentration concentration, lets play the game of concentration !! Haha! those were the days, when we played Concentration durin the 1st 3 months..thinking about it..Something is still missing..Not concentration game..just something..each time i finally grasp the knowledge of it, it slips through the fingers..and gone..into the mess of the mind..
Dear lord above,
Pls let me find it asap, its been more than a year and its still missing! You are always watching over us = )
Anyone who knows what it is, please tell me!
Gotta study harder, i seem to be making detours, stops and sometime U-turns !! No room for such nonsense! hehe..occasion rests are okay..but not long ones ! HOls hw are still left in the corner, with a new pile of work building up..oH my! Someone help me ! but im probably the only one who can really help myself..So i better start to do so soon! like sleeping now as tomorrow im gonna be out the whole day ! Ahhh!
OKies..nite nite..bye !!


she told the story ... 10:30 PM


%that's me

>>*aDeLiNe*<<
(Female) (20) (8 Oct 1988)
(Ex-naps) (Ex-nas) (Ex-MJC)
(NYP PT0701) (NTU BMS)


%FAVOURITES

[God] [Family] [him] [friends] [freedom]



WISHLIST

~> Him
~> Good grades & health for everyone
~> Sony digital recorder VoicePlus ICD-U70(1GB)/ICD-U60(512MB)/ICD-U50(26MB)
~> Electronic chinese dictionary
~> Sony T20
~> A Orange Crumpler
~> A bedroom,totally designed by me
~> Navel piercing
~> Scooter license
~> Scooter
~> Shopping spree(new clothes and accessories)

> Play the guitar
> Play the piano
> Drive
> Nightcycle
> Nightblade
> Scuba dive
> Wakeboard
> Cableboard
> Get toned abs
> Get my kayaking 2nd star

* Graduate with double degree 1st class honours.
* Mug everyday.
* Maintain a healthy lifestyle.Exercise Execise
* Reach my ideal weight of 48-50kg.




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