Mixed Emotions
These days i am feeling so weird. Feeling so messed up inside. In my heart and mind. The results? Stoning during periods of the day, dazing, staring into blank space or simply the unwillingness to talk.
The weather didnt really helped much. Its been rather erratic and weird these days. Some days it would be too sunny. Some downpours. Sunny brought warmth and hope. But it intensifies the cold feeling in my heart. Good or bad? Go figure. The sound of raindrops, the refreshing feeling upon its touch and the chill is soothing. But it brings out the feelings from the heart. As though the sky is crying for me.
Confused i am so.
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I feel happy but sad.
I feel energetic but exhausted.
I am in love and out of love.
I have aims and dreams but feel lost.
I have move on but live in the past.
I want to love but am tired of loving.
I am loved but dont feel the love.
I love communication but love the silence.
Friends are with me, but i feel lonely inside.
I need you but can live on without you.
There are smiles on my face , but tears in my heart.
I want you to know i love you, but dont want to tell you.
I love you. You love her. And i love her as my friend.
You are so close yet so far.
I wish you call, but fear to hear your voice.
I wish to see you, but fear the flashbacks.
I am here and there. Here in the present. There in the past. So where am i really at?
I love you. But do you love me too?
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Pain has always been in my heart.
Memories has always been in my mind.
You have always been in my heart & mind.
When will the pain be gone?
When will the memories be just mere memories?
When will you be hidden deep in my heart & mind?
When will i stop loving you?
