在夜里失眠, 在白天沉睡, 摆脱回忆跟随
你给我安慰, 为我擦乾眼泪, 不问为何伤悲

我问我自己心中还藏着谁

你越温柔我就越后悔
我还是会想他, 想听他笑我傻

虽然此刻心里充满挣扎, 我还是会想他,还会心乱如麻

我承认我还没忘了他

你有他的单纯, 也有他的复杂

你的一切让我觉得像他, 而我只能装傻

至少你的拥抱很像他

she told the story ... 11:00 PM

You think you might meet that person today. The whole day, you have the feeling that if you go out, you will meet that person. That strong nudging feeling. But circumstances and your head tell you that you might not and will not meet afterall. But in the end...you met. Fate or luck? Is everything planned out to happen like this?
Cruel fate. For that 1 second or even less, intense happiness fills your soul. But soon after, it was followed by a painful stab through your chest. The heavy feeling became painful. You are no longer numbed.
So why did you go out, knowing you might meet that person. Deep down inside, you want to meet that person. You called out to God every night, talking to Him, telling Him your thoughts, emotions and problems. Was it God's plan for you to meet that person? An answer to your calls? i guess it was. But were you prepared? Did you know what would happen and the possible situations that you could be in upon meeting that person? No. Thats what makes life ever so surprising and worth living. God has plans for all of us and i guess we should trust that whatever his plans may be, it would be for our own good and he would be by our side with each step we take.
Things happen when you least expect it to. After awhile, i was glad i met that person. At least i know how that person is, look like and roughly how life have been for him. But it gave rise to many qns with no ans. Life always leave me confused and dazed >.<
Couldn't get into my blog for days. So finally! hehe. Maybe i will change my blog template and song since its gonna be a new year soon. The years seem to pass by quicker. So fast its gonna be 2007. Christmas past by so quickly and now its gonna be the new year celebration. And..finally i can spend the new year with friends. Such privileges comes with the age of 18, i guessed.

she told the story ... 8:11 PM

Get Up, Get Out, Move On, Move On, there's no doubt.
I'm all wrong, your right, it's all the same with you.
I'm too thin, too fat.
Dont want to grow up,
I want to get out
Hey take me away
I want to shout out Take me away
Round and Round,
here we go again.
Same old story, same old end
turn my head and i turn back again.
Same old stuff, never ends.
Do this do that, can't deal with thatt
i tune in, tune out, i've heard it all before.

she told the story ... 12:40 PM

Random feeling and thoughts...
I love and hate rainy weathers.
It has been raining for days. on and off.
Strong winds hitting against the windows. Dark cloudy sky.
I wanna curl up.curl up and hide beneath my warm blanket, away from the winds and the cold reality.
Did that. Done that.
But it never did remove the pain deep in me.
It never will be a substitute for your warmth. The warmth of being in your arms, knowing everything's alright and im safe.

I love and hate routines.
In our lives, routines are a part of us. Like it or not, its probably here to stay.
These 12 years, it was the study routine.
Hate it for decreasing playtime, increasing worktime.
But love it for it was probably the only thing that could numb the pain.
I realised only now that since pri4 i was using studies as a form of escaping.
In pri sch, i was escaping into a world of fascinating information that never fails to keep my love for studies going. In sec sch, it was somewhat the same, with the addition of solid ambitions and dreams.
But as life proceeds, study routines became a tool to numb feelings, to build a strong wall around myself, protecting me, my dreams and my heart.
But now, the routine is gone. The wall crumbles. Im no longer numbed. it hurts.it happens for 2years, coincide with rainy december.
A new wall needs to be build and will be build as routines grow out of nothing.

This pain, heavy feeling is a part of me.
Pain is your friend; it teaches you lessons you cant learn any other way.
One true thing. What we evade becomes what we fear. What we fear becomes what we are.
Time heals all wounds. But scars remain.
Love happens when people forgive.

she told the story ... 12:12 AM

Dental Day Surgery.
As i have 2 missing teeth in my mouth since sec 2, i have to have them filled with fake teeths. Thus the need for bone grafting and tooth implants. today was bone grafting.

Round 1: Bone Grafting
Bone would be taken from my lower jaw to be grafted into the 2 gaps and if there isnt sufficient bone for them to take, i would need artificial bones. My mummy wanted to go for the bone extraction surgery to give me her bone, to minimise the number of surgery i gotta undergo. But as most bio students would know, thats not possible due to rejection by the immune system. The procedure sounds easy, it was easy i guess, but painful when the LA wears off (like now)

So here's what happened today...
Mummy and daddy went with me to NDC. daddy settle all the payments and mummy was there for me =) it wasnt like the surgery during sec2 when they extracted my teeths. this time, i had to wear the blue gown and enter a proper nice OT. As the surgeon explained the procedure to mummy, mummy was joking with us about havin extra dimples since my lower jaw would be missing bone, till it grows back. haha. finally in the ot, the injection with LA was very very painful, bringing tears to my eyes. the procedure was pretty much similar to those surgery you see on tv, where the surgeon wrapped the patient with cloth, including the whole face except in my case my mouth. 1st step: opening the gum to expose the jaw bone. didnt feel much till she reached an area. ouch! but it was normal, as surgeon Goh explained that most people feel pain at that area despite being under LA. so yeap, it was painful. 2nd step: "Nice bone you have" haha. thats what she said! so we shall beginning with the sawing. saw saw saw. can hear the sawing sound but thank goodness i cant feel anything. but the sound was rather loud and disturbing 3rd step: hammer the bone off. ouch! the hammering was very physical and loud. no ear muff =( . 4 step: bone grafting. compared to the above, this was the fastest step and... taaadaa!!! its done. completed! yeah! Surgeon Goh injected more LA to numb the area as it would be painful later on, like now. ohya, there was stitching of the areas being cut open. so yeap. now my left cheek is swelling real big so no solid food as i cant bite or chew. there would be bruises, swelling and pain as mentioned by surgeon goh. So its milkshakes these days =) hehe. blessings in disguise!

ohya ohya. really gotta thank Surgeon Goh and all her assistants. Almost died from choking on my own bloody saliva but with the attempts made by her assistants, i swallowed lesser blood.(but as usual, there would be the need to puke out these blood later on as it will irritate the stomach). And the service provided at the day surgery level was great. =) ohya, wanna thank those who wished my luck and good health for this surgery. =) hmmm..think i better go rest since the pain is worsening and im feeling rather nausea now >.<

she told the story ... 4:38 PM

Goong- princess hours
haha! i have watched finished the show. feelings about the show and characters changed constantly. but feelings and impressions of the crown prince lee shin didnt change much throughout.

At the beginning, everyone would mostly dislike shin and like yul and find both main female characters acceptable. For me, i like both male characters, sympathised with shin more and like chae kyung more than hyo rin.

but as the show proceeds further, both yul and hyo rin start to become "evil". not really evil evil but mostly greedy evil. but not really evil cause at the age of 19, i believe human nature and love would sometimes bring out the greed in everyone and thats what happened.

In the end, it was a happy ending. the "evil" characters didnt really suffer any dramatic ending. Royalty regained some freedom and the throne was in the firm and just hands of shin's sis. since she was always diplomatic and clear headed, i guess it was the right and wise choice of shin to hand the crown over to his elder sis.

hmmm..in this show, there was never any evil character. no evil evil. but jus greedy evil. I love the queen mother, so cute and understanding. hopefully the king could finally give a place in his heart to the queen. she spent 20 years of her youth pining for his heart and gave him 2 lovable kids and looked after them and his royal family. alittle love wouldnt kill anyone right? the power hungry queen dowager however paid a huge price for a moment of power. she lost her true love in return for a few years of power and many more years of regrets, sadness, loneliness and love for others. but if there wasnt her hunger, shin wouldnt be born.hehe. irony isnt it. a nice man born from the hunger of an "evil" woman. cause if she married the younger bro at that time, the man she truely loves. shin wouldnt be born, this includes yul.meaning no goong! =X

okies..now for the interesting and most lovable character, lee shin. from young, before 5 years old, he was snubbed by yul who demanded to be called his highness though shin was being friendly. and where did that power infatuation character of yul came from.i wonder. but he had the love and warmth of his family. after the age of 5, i sympathised with him as he was deprived of the love and warmth from his parents who think that strict upbringing would be best. thank goodness he had alfred, his bear and his loyal secretary. i think anyone brought up in his situation would probably be like him, unable to express his emotions and feelings. unlike yul who was exposed to the world outside though wasnt crown prince anymore.

i guess when you gained some stuff in life, you gotta lose some. like what hyo rin said, you have to let go of what you are holding on to before you can gain others. i think the ending was great. and though, through the show, i started to dislike each characters, it made me realised that they are 19 years old in the show and are entitled to mistakes and that me a viewer from the outside probably see things clearer. if i was in their shoes, i probably make worse mistakes >.<

i really love this show, the romance, the warmth of the family which slowly makes its way into the royal family, the forgiveness, the pure innonence of youth and love. hmmm.. i guessed ultimately its all about letting go.
letting go of what you hold dear to your heart.
letting go of what seems so important in your life so as to move on
letting go of the thing that brings you both true happiness and sadness
letting go to remove sadness and sufferings of others, even at the expense of love
letting go of the past and future of dreams for the future
letting go to grow up.
letting go is never an easy job and must be done in all stages of life. parents letting their kids go to pursue their dreams etc. so i guessed this is one lesson we will have to keep learning and experincing. =)

when will i ever let go of you, the past and the memories.
letting go of you and the past. done that.
letting go of the fond memories, nope aint gonna do that.
letting go isnt the same as moving on.
letting go can occur without moving on and moving on can happen without letting go.
i have already let go for your happiness and mine, for your future and mine. but moving on seems to be more difficult and confusing. maybe all i need is time.maybe...

she told the story ... 4:06 PM

Life after A levels should be fun, constantly filled with activites and happiness. That was what i dreamt about before A levels. And now, when it is after the As, it aint exactly what i dreamt about. There was fun, days filled with activities, but friends are fly off. Ben and cher, like most already know are holidaying. When they return, its aud and jon's turn. what about me. i guess im in a dilemma. i want to go on a holiday, but dont want to leave my dog at someone's house or the pet hotel. thats cruelty. so nope, i will stay in singapore even if it means being left at home alone.
i'm bored. very bored. hai. i shouldnt have chiong Goong from thursday. but it is addictive and you wanna know what happens next. after watching till chapt 17, you will spot flaws but still like the show. hmmm..lets see..i gotta plan solo activities without da gang from tmr till 24 dec and thats 15 days. im excused from 12 to 14 dec. so job searching shall start now. but what else can i do by myself...

Things to do...
1. rollerblade
2. watch dvds ( gotta find)
3. play com(gb, maple...gb maple..hai)
4. go library outings
5. borrow books
6. go school library to read all the comics
7. go school library to borrow dvds
8. find a job
9. work
10. go out with other friends
11. go swimming
12. go running/jogging
13. learn something new
14. complete cher's coloured paper
15. pack my room
16. study for basic driving theory test

she told the story ... 10:02 PM

Prom can be both great and terrible. Terrible as time passes sooo quickly when you're having fun and that it starts so late, causing the fun to extend till next morning. As a result, it takes up 2 whole days without one knowing. haha. i didnt know today's thursday, still thinking it was wednesday, the day after prom.=X so tmr's friday..meaning its tkd day. =) dont know why but i'm getting lazy again, with the temptations to pon tkd again and again and again.hmmm..lazy pig, maybe i should stop ponning for good.maybe maybe.gotta put that in my new year resolutions. ohya and tmr is wild wild wet! hopefully i can go. parents seem moody today.hai. but it would be fun and wet tmr! think i would enjoy myself..tmr, it would be jon aud xin peng yan cheng zhen yee and me. yeap 6 peeps. like da gang, but unique in its own ways.

hmmm...come to think about it. i'm missing da gang since yesterday. somehow life seems too quiet, restless and boring without them. Cher and ben left for their family holidays. Johanan with his parents. And daddy is gonna be enlisted.hai. the sense of emptiness becomes stronger each day, knowing that we might and would be going separate ways. I guessed, like what i told cher and ben " i would cry on the day we get back our results. and those tears aint because of the results, but because i would and am missing all my friends and jc life" . this feeling of emptiness in me is stronger than that after o levels. in jc, i guessed we bond more with our groups of friends.sharing dreams, laughters, tears, tempers and memories together. We are growing up, arent we? together? and will we continue this journey together as 1? hopefully we would. i wish we would.

those were the days. those were the memories, deeply rooted in my heart.
why must there be goodbyes. cant we stay together, side by side?
to my friends of my past and present, i miss you guys and will be missing the time we had together. to my friends of my future, i will learn to treasure you more than ever.
to da gang, *grins* you guys simply rock my life in every possible directions. thanks for bringing light and joy into my life when it was the darkest.
to my "family", you guys always look out for me and always there for me as a listening ear, shoulders to cry on and even punching bag.
time pass by so quickly and we cant turn back time. Lets treasure our loved ones every moment that we have. *hugs* take cares and God bless.

she told the story ... 10:48 PM

For Prom...
i had many 1st times...
-shopping for prom stuff
-walking down orchard road everyday
-doing serious shopping
-wearing a gown
-going to such events
-going for manicure and pedicure,i could get the hang of it =)
-walking at 2am plus along the roads
-shaping my eyebrows.eekkss!
-taupoking
-finishing carl's jr whole meal with 2 drinks in one sitting.

so many many more...gotta recall..

she told the story ... 4:49 PM

PROM NIGHT!
Back from prom and it was a blast !!! Pre-prom, prom and post-prom was fab and great! YIIPPPEee! hahahahahaha. i think i'm still high from all the fun. With Da Gang, it was always exciting and enjoyable.hmmm, most of my 1st times were with them >.<

Ben and i arrived at Pan Pacific hotel at about 2 pm plus, ben came earlier though.haha. So we waited at the lobby for cher's mummy, cher, aud and qiu hui. Got bored soon, so ipod nano to the rescue! Met them at about 3:20pm and we headed up to the hotel room which cher's mummy helped us book =) haha. 1st one to have her makeup and hair done was cher, while aud and i changed in the same toilet but diff areas. soon after, it was aud's turn then mine. I have to admit...but we looked great! Right girls? haha..perfecto! *grins* the boys came up soon after and im glad and comforted to say that their comments were nice, no laughters but just smiles =) Our room soon became kinda chaotic, with the boys getting ready, girls taking pics with gypsy( really gotta thank her for her help!) and getting our little nightbags ready and me taking pics with mummy and daddy.
Prom, as we heard, starts at 7. But we went in at about 7:40 and was still early.hehe. I was feeling sooooo excited as it was my 1st, 1st time wearing heavy makeups for dinner, 1st time on high high heels, 1st time in such gown. one word: WHEEEE! haha. i love new experiences! the lobby was beautiful and with all the mjcians in their prom attire, we blended with the surroundings with ease. haha, but as usual , i gotten kinda over paranoid and kept checking my lips. it was funny moving around as friends go missing, us forgetting our table number and looking out for our "lost" friends. Ahhhhh. Sitting at our table was just undescribable.
At our table was Cher, Aud, Jon, Xp, Ben, Zhen Yee, Yin Sy, Yan Cheng, Kenneth and me. its nice having boys around who are gentlemanly enough to peel our prawns for us, eat our "unwanted" dishes.hehe. The night soon past by sooo quickly(ps: the REAL fun starts now, well kinda)

As we left the ballroom, we were swarmed and squeezed. Phototaking session was on and within a "restricted area", we took photos with our friends. Posing and smiling*grins* i almost thought my jaw could just drop. It seems like this" restricted areas" was a silent acknowledgement between everyone. Each class, cliques had their "areas".Soon after, i receive that impt msg and call. Argh! hehe. i feel so happy yet guiltified doing what i was gonna do. Our class(partial) headed out towards the lobby as i needed to do something, but we lost aud and cher! cher! where's cher! haha. And i couldnt find the mysterious caller! eeks! but in the end, it turn out grreat as we managed to surprise cher.hehe. ( cher, it was a sweet surprise of seng wai to come down. serious.hehe. bleah, but i was really just helpin.*grins*). With our tired and hot bodies, we headed back to the room to rest. haha, lift rides never was this fun, right guys? hehe. hai...*sigh with contentment* i love my friends.
After resting, we headed for esplanade and fullerton. my feet hurts real real bad. i think zhen yee, yin sy and cher also felt the same. But the joy and thrill of walking at 2 am along the used-to-be-busy roads gave me the motivation.hmmm, i have some nice ideas of taking photos on the busy roads, yeap, while its busy. But who's game enough to take it with me? hehe. we took many fun pics along the way. Frankly, the presence of friends really do keep you going even when you are feeling so empty inside and painful outside.
After walking and finally reaching our room, we rested and took turns to bathe. it was funny when we were comparing how long who takes to bathe. after everyones clean and smelling fresh and wonderful... Jon whacked me with a pillow. So a pillow fight started. soon after it was jon and aud vs cher and me with the two teddies as victims! cher and i kidnapped aud's teddy which caused jon and aud to attack us.haha..tickles, shrieks, pouncing on one another, "molesting" each other. and cher's teddy got kidnapped in the end! the "molester" aud removed poor chris's clothes. So mean!! =P haha. it was chaotic. think ys, zy and qiu hui had a great time watching us play.hehe. Tau poking was very fun and hilarious. we all tried to tau pok jon, but he could always lift all of us up, with cher as our last tau poker.hehe(cher hurry ! cher hurry tau pok! hahahha!) we were exhausted after each tau pok session, but we kept goin till 4 am plus when most of us konked out =X At first it was cher aud jon and me. then cher aud jon yc and me. then cher aud jon yc xp and me.lol. almost Da Gang uh.hehe. we continued pillow fights and taupoking each other. till it was truth or dare session. the contents are only for participants to know =P hehe. Zy, yc and ys left at about 6 am and aud was tryin to get jon and me off the bed to go swimming. in the end, cher aud jon xp and me went swimming, with qiu hui as our photographer( thank you, sorry to keep you up the whole morning with our havoc). i actually didnt want to swim as i knew i brought the wrong two-piece and i havent swim since pri6, so my confidence level was low. but with aud's encouragements, i was soon in the water. haha. Tag, cockfight, phototaking, handstands. haha. we were pretty shagged i think, at least i know i'm from my blisters.
Back in the room, cher aud and i had girls bonding session. the 3 of us squeezed into the standing shower to clean ourselves with jon as our photographer, then into the bathtub filled with sea salty water and jon as our bathroom service. Bathroom service consisting of taking photos, creating fountains(though kinda biased =P) haha.. girls session was so relaxing and ahhh..haha..xp had to use the toilet to bathe and we had fun giving them suggestions, even offering him a job as our bathroom service to help jon(our best worker, as he was the only one =p) hehe. we took turns to bathe and soon we were taking turns to sleep.
aahhhhhh...great memories, just pre-prom, prom and post prom.
We ate at carl's jr where jon and aud shared a meal and xp and i ate our own meals.*burp* i'm seriously full, till i cant open my mouth for too long, afraid i might become a food fountain. haha..terrible, i shall not take part in any food bets liao. its so "overwhelming".
Home at last. nice soft beds, but without da gang, it feels weird and lonely. hmmmm...
i would like to thank my mummy, daddy, cher's mummy, gypsy, everyone there or werent there for making my special day so specially memorable.

i'm beginning to miss all of you...what will my life be without you guys by my side. *tears* *grins* lets keep in touch kays.

she told the story ... 3:59 PM

FUN FUN FUN And MORE FUN !!
Great memories today. My 1st time doing manicure and pedicure, learning ballroom dancing, posing so much for pics, stalking my friend. haha. today was a great day. tmr will be better, right guys?
I LOVE Da Gang!

she told the story ... 10:39 PM

Another great day!
Today started out late, well kinda as i woke up at 9 which is good.= ) Was supposed to go prom shopping with mummy at 10.haha, but we dilly-dally and left home at 11:30 with daddy giving us a lift to the mrt station.
I love shopping with mummy. Very fruitful and fun. Saw soo many nice dresses and tried on sooo many nice dresses. But sorta "love at 1st sight", i found the right dress. Aint really the one i love, but it will do. So yeap, i completed my whole prom shopping in a day with mummy's help and daddy's approving nods. Daddy is always there when mummy and i cant agree on certain clothes. so with his good taste, we always settle on the best *grins* i love my parents.
haha. previously, aud and i chose the same black dress. now...its the same as cher and i bought it.ahhhh...haha...great minds think alike? but more of taste alike..haha..oh my. it seems the more i try to stay clear of buying the same dresses as my friends, the greater the chances of me spotting and loving the same dresses.haha..oh wells..life's getting more interesting and fun =)
My Prom shopping is done, now to focus on Yi cheng's...

she told the story ... 6:56 PM

A good night's sleep does miracles. I no longer feel that messed up. Or maybe it was shopping with mummy today =). Like what jas said "retail therapy really solves all matters of the heart.". I'm feeling so refreshed now! Now, i cant wait to get my prom stuff! it was fun and great shopping with mummy. Found a possible look with dress, accessories, shoes and all. i guessed that brightens up my day and it doesnt end here.hehe. tmr is shopping day with mummy again, sun is shopping with jc friends, monday is pampering day with the girls and...the most important of all, tuesday.. 05December 2006 is MJC PROM NIGHT! haha. While trying on dresses today, mummy kept saying im fat. hmmm, guessed im really fat and need some exercise. So anyone out there with a 3 days exercise plan, care to include me in?
Today was officially my last dental visit. Collected my retainers. At 1st, i thought i only need to wear it when im sleeping and that it was comfy to wear. But... nope, i gotta always wear it, esp when i got 2 missing teeth and it aint nice to wear. aint comfy. mummy had difficulty understanding me at the beginning, but being adaptable =X, i've gotten used to it already, well kinda, at least people are able to understand what i'm saying. I cant wait to eat, which isnt good when im supposed to be losing fats. But thats the only time i can take off my retainers.haha...hmmm, come to think of it. its dinnertime already! yippeess!!
Will be blogging soon...

she told the story ... 7:00 PM

>>*aDeLiNe*<<
(Female) (20) (8 Oct 1988)
(Ex-naps) (Ex-nas) (Ex-MJC)
(NYP PT0701) (NTU BMS)



[God] [Family] [him] [friends] [freedom]



~> Him
~> Good grades & health for everyone
~> Sony digital recorder VoicePlus ICD-U70(1GB)/ICD-U60(512MB)/ICD-U50(26MB)
~> Electronic chinese dictionary
~> Sony T20
~> A Orange Crumpler
~> A bedroom,totally designed by me
~> Navel piercing
~> Scooter license
~> Scooter
~> Shopping spree(new clothes and accessories)

> Play the guitar
> Play the piano
> Drive
> Nightcycle
> Nightblade
> Scuba dive
> Wakeboard
> Cableboard
> Get toned abs
> Get my kayaking 2nd star

* Graduate with double degree 1st class honours.
* Mug everyday.
* Maintain a healthy lifestyle.Exercise Execise
* Reach my ideal weight of 48-50kg.

|NAPSians|
k David kPeining

|NASians|
kAndy kAshraf kAzeimah
kDelwyn kFarhanah kFaseha kGuan Peng kIlyana kIvan kJing Jie kPhoebe kSamantha kYing Hui
kYue Zhi

|MJCians|
k05S201 kAudrey kChee Huat kCherlyn kJonathan kXin Peng kYan Cheng & Xin Peng kYin Ning

|IMCBians|
kKenneth kTi Lin kYu Heng


*Animal Welfare

|Animal Organisations|
kAcres
kASD: Action for Singapore Dogs
kIFAW:International Fund for Animal Welfare
kIFAW Blog:International Fund for Animal Welfare
kIFAW:Baby Harp Seals
kHarp Seals
kCare2

ARCHIVES

June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
March 2009
April 2009
August 2009